I always wish that no one will reach to my sins, I always try to make a fool proof plan to hide my sins from the whole world. I always think that no one will know what i did, but i forgot that there is some one who is watching the each moment of my life and He knows what i want to keep secret. There is no secret for Him, He is watching everything and that is Allah. One more thing our scholars assure me that if i will ask forgiveness from the Lord then He will forgive me. I always think that i will do the wrong deed and then i will do my "Touba".
I always want to hide my dirty and egregious inner from the whole world. What i think, feel and want all are totally egregious. I always try to pose my self as fastidious and tacitum. but my inner is totally different from my outer. I am stoical and egregious in my inner and i believe that no one know my secret but it is not true. Allah knows my inner and outer. Kindly read the following verse of the Holy Quran:
"Do they not know that Allah knows what they keep secret and what they make known?"
(Para No: 1 & Verse No: 77)
Allah knows everything it is our belief but we do not have firm believe in it. This is the problem of all of us. If we believe that some one is watching us then we will never do the wrong deeds as we done. We have fear of people, government and all others except Allah similarly we want that no one will see what we did and if Allah will see then its "OK". When i learn that this "OK" approach is not good and we must pay the price of our sins in the court of Allah then i become stun. I think i have no way to come out from Allah trial without punishment and then i tried my self to change my self.
We never think for one minute that Allah knows every thing and He knows what we want to keep secret and what we keep known. He knows and He will reward us on our good deeds and punish us on our wrong deeds. But besides all these things when we are doing something wrong against the communication of Quran then at that moment this believe was just disappeared from our heart and we just think that this is my last crime and i shall make "Touba". This is the main problem of our all sins. We are doing sins on the promise of Touba.
